The Real Sunset Beach Fans
by ariastro
Summary: Parody of The Real Slim Shady. WARNING: Passion fans should not read this!!


May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention?  
Will the real SB fans please stand up?  
I repeat will the real SB fans please stand up?  
We're gonna have a problem here  
  
Y'all act like you ain't never seen a white priest before  
Ricardo quirkin out all over the floor like Annie and Gregory burst in the door  
And started cussing her out worst than before  
They were the first divorce, throwin' Annie over furniture  
It's the return of the...  
"Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding, he just didn't do what I think he did, did he?"  
And Francesca said...  
NOTHING YOU IDIOTS FRANCESCA'S DEAD [ha ha]  
Catholic churches love Father Torres  
"[vocal turntable] Father Torres, I'm sick of him  
Look at him, walking on screen writers making him use his you know what  
Fucking you know who, yeah, but he's so sexy though"  
Yeah, the writers probably got a couple screws up in their heads loose  
But the worse is going on Meg and Ben's bedroom  
Sometimes I wanna get on TV and let this collar loose, but can't  
But it's cool for Virginia to hump Vanessa with turkey baster boost  
"The sperm is in your hole the sperm is in your hole  
And If I'm lucky Michael will never know"  
And that's the message the writers deliever to our fans  
And expect them not to know what harm bad soaps have  
Of course they're gonna know what sucky soaps are  
They watch Passions don't they?  
"Our show ain't nothing but crap"  
While others are all that  
Who if you watch write people off like the Friday the 13th  
But if you watch closely you'll see  
There's no reason that NBC shouldn't let us be  
But if you feel like I feel you got the anitdote  
Women of Sunset Beach wave your panty-hoes; sing the chorus and it goes  
  
We're SB fans yes the real SB fans  
All you other soaps fans can't cut it like we can  
So won't the real SB fans please stand up?  
Please stand up?  
  
We're SB fans yes the real SB fans  
All you other soaps fans can't cut it like we can  
So won't the real SB fans please stand up?  
Please stand up  
  
Passions don't have to be ruthless to get ratings  
Well we do so fuck them and fuck NBC too  
You think our cast gives a damn about the Emmy's?  
Half you critics can't stomach me let alone understand me  
"But Antonio what if Nick wins wouldn't it be weird?"  
Why so those guys can lie just to get me here  
Sit me there next to some Passions queer?  
Yo Lindsay Korman better switch me chairs  
So I sit next to Hank and Clive  
And we can argue over how the bitch will die  
You little bitch puts us last on NBC  
"Yeah he's cute but I think he's dating Skylla heehee..."  
I should download their video's on NBC  
And tell the world how they all screwed me  
I'm sick of you teeny boy girl characters all you do is annoy me  
So I have been sent here to destroy you  
And there's a million soaps that are just like SB  
Walk, talk, and act like SB  
They might just be the next best things   
But still not quite SB  
  
Repeat Chorus  
  
We're like a porn movie to watch through  
Cuz we're only acting out things you fantasize about in your living rooms  
The only difference is our writers have the balls to write it  
And they don't to false or make us sugar coat it all  
We just get on the screen and spit it  
And whether NBC would like to admit it   
We're the best thing since Internet hit it  
Then you wonder how these fans can eat ups these shows like pussy on a ho  
It's funny cuz at the rate we're going we'll all be past 40  
In a nursing home cursing  
Watchin Passions quirking   
Quirking because the fucking remote ain't working  
And everywhere and SB actor is lurking  
We could be working at Burger King  
Spittin on a Passions' actor's onion rings  
Or in the studio parking lot, circling screaming "NBC sucks"  
With our windows down and our systems up  
So, will the real SB fans please stand up  
And put that one finger in the middle up  
And be proud to be outta ya mind and outta control  
And one more time loud as you can how does it go?  
  
repeat chorus x2  
  
Ha ha  
Guess there's a little bit of Sunset Beach in all of us  
Fuck it, lets all stand up 


End file.
